Our Overseas (Indian) Debt

Over the Arabian Sea

There is more to the term 'overseas Indian’ than meets the eye. One can be an overseas Indian without being an Indian national, which is exactly how the citizens of the developed world (of Indian descent) qualify for the Overseas Citizenship of India (OCI), the next best thing to a dual nationality. Not that they necessarily need it. Overseas Indians have travelled the world and back; some have firmly planted the tricolour on foreign soils; others - in their hearts. Those who have the option to migrate and a compelling reason to do so - relocate permanently, with kin and kith waiting in line. Armed with new passports, they sign up for the '<Insert country name> dream'.

 

On the other side of the world, millions of Indian workers leave their houses in droves every decade, in search of greener pastures across the Arabian Sea. Some find comfort in the quintuple call to prayer, others in the newfound Subcontinental camaraderie they are exposed to. The labourers stand united; in that their next remittance back home becomes their raison d'être. 

 

Though the Middle East provides ample room for every overseas worker to make his fair share of wealth, it is often at the cost of said worker's self-esteem, and in certain cases - human rights. Unlike their compatriots living 'the dream', overseas Indians in the Middle East are not treated at par with the locals; despite their loyalty, years (often decades) of service, stake in national development (of their host country) and permanent residency cards. Since Indians cannot legally be dual nationals, they can only solicit the help of their Embassies when in distress, unlike the latter, who often use the might of their powerful second passport to wriggle out of situations, without the need for diplomatic intervention. Even when Embassies need to get involved, often the first course of action is to safely escort the concerned national out of the host country before any settlement takes place. The Indian worker does not even dream or expect such royal treatment. It is reserved for passports with 'eagles', 'kangaroos', but not those adorned by four bold Asiatic lions.

 

There are many predicaments for the overseas Indian worker that haven't been addressed by governments old or new. First, the bedraggled Indian Foreign Service, that is entrusted with safeguarding the interests of Indians abroad, does not have the necessary numbers to provide effective assistance to Indians in distress. One diplomat serves approximately 33,000 overseas Indians, whose global population is in excess of 28 million - a quarter of whom reside in the Middle East. Despite being the prime expatriate group in the region in terms of numbers, Indians find themselves at the lowest tier of social hierarchy, below the Arabs and Westerners, but slightly better off than our South Asian cousins. This unofficial apartheid not only has an adverse effect on their social psyche but also leads to a continuation of the status quo of exploitation: the workers, pliant as they are, continue to persevere, almost naturally; the centuries of colonial servitude firmly entrenched in their DNA, comes in handy. 

 

Second, despite the constitution of a dedicated Ministry of Overseas Indian Affairs (MOIA) in 2004, little has been done to redress the grievances of Indian workers, with the exception of the mandatory immigration and financial services. During my recent two-year stay in Saudi Arabia, I haven't seen a more able and devoted diplomatic outpost than the Philippines Embassy and its consulates across the Kingdom. That the Philippines Government places a great deal of stress on the wellbeing of its 2.3 million-strong Overseas Filipino Workers (OFWs) is reflected in the employment, advocacy, relocation and community assistance provided to them from the moment they land until their final exit. The list of benefits too is huge - medical/healthcare benefits, social and family welfare benefits, & migration and rehabilitation benefits among others. Most importantly, OFWs are entitled to education and training benefits; including a pre-departure training program (comprehensive or country-specific) and scholarship programs for unskilled & semi-skilled workers, and their dependents. The emphasis on education is to prevent any form of de-skilling the worker might face on return to the Philippines. De-skilling is a major predicament faced particularly by the unskilled and semi-skilled overseas Indian workers, who are often employed in mechanical or repetitive jobs with little or no upgradation. It also deters them returning to India to seek employment since the skills they acquire are often deemed redundant, or mainly because the jobs available offer scant remuneration. The mandate of the MOIA must be strengthened to focus on skill development, education and social safety programs. 

 

Finally, the overseas Indian not only needs to be assuaged but must also feel empowered. In 2014, Indian workers in the Gulf Cooperative Council (GCC) nations (Saudi Arabia, Bahrain, UAE, Kuwait, Qatar and Oman) remitted over $30 billion to India, nearly 50% of total remittances by overseas Indians across the world. If it weren't for their impoverished families in India, many (not most) would happily and permanently settle in their adopted lands. Some already have, and in such cases, their last and only return flight takes them home - in a coffin.    

 

It has taken 70 years of independence for the Indian Government to find a way to extend the right of democratic franchise to its most marginalised (and yet successful) constituency - the non-resident Indian. Despite early signs this year of a breakthrough electoral reform that would allow NRIs to vote from abroad through e-ballots, the necessary amendments to the Representation of the People’s Act (RPA) 1951 haven’t been made in time  Had such a delay been avoided, the ongoing Bihar poll would have been monumental; not only for its political game of thrones, but also for its electoral implications. 

One can only hope that the RPA 1951 is amended in time for the next election. Voting rights for NRIs could bring about a paradigm shift in Indian politics since no political party would want to distance itself or appear to be alienating/ignoring the near 30 million Indian citizens domiciled abroad. Also, since NRIs would begin to actively and directly participate in Indian politics, one can finally expect to witness issues concerning their employment in foreign lands take centre stage, placing greater pressure on the Government in power to do more for its non-resident citizens. But Indian politics is unpredictable, and therefore, it is premature to pop the champagne.    

 

India has a major stake in the Gulf, not only due to the billions of dollars worth of remittances that flow inward, but also owing to skewed geopolitical equations with different countries in the region. Though Prime Minister Modi's State visit to the United Arab Emirates was a welcome move, we need more than just economic investments from the Arab world - we require an investment of faith from our overseas Indians. The Government must buttress its diplomatic strength in the Middle East, increase the mandate of the MOIA, introduce skill development and educational programs for Indian workers abroad and progressively include the non-resident Indian in the national political sphere.

Until then, our overseas Indian debt remains.

Sushma's Swaraj: The Joke's on India

Not to be derisive, but after witnessing Wednesday's rambunctious Lok Sabha session, one mustn't point fingers at our political class; they are giving the Indian populace exactly what they want - pure, no-holds-barred entertainment. To watch two of the most experienced parliamentary debaters in Sushma Swaraj and Arun Jaitley convincingly best the Gandhi family made for one epic treat/burn, which would even make a certain Goswami chuckle.


The Congress party could certainly function better as a more constructive Opposition but even despite Rahul Gandhi's buffoonery (See expert without knowledge), I do believe they did ask the right questions and Sushma should've put the Lalitgate matter to bed once and for all instead of being so obscurantist. Her pugnacious yet plain assertion that she'd "done nothing wrong" simply didn't lend credence to her stand.

Ever since her appointment as MEA, she has reached out to and provided humanitarian aid to many an Indian in distress and could have posited the same theory in defence of her assistance to Lalit Modi. But voila, she handed it back to the Gandhis in a language that they best understand: Accuse the accuser; turn defence into attack.

The fact of the matter is, allegations cannot be countered with more allegations. Two wrongs don’t make a right. Their scams vs our scandals, their secularism vs our nationalism, their riots vs ours, their absconders vs ours. Maybe that’s what Sushma means by “Quid pro quo”.

Every party has skeletons in its closet; none more so than the Congress, and that's probably why the Grand Old Party has been relegated to double-digit Opposition benches after ten years of misrule. Let's not forget, it was under the UPA's tenure that Lalit Modi turned 'fugitive'. Wednesday's session should not have been about what Rahul's दादी, मम्मी and पापा have done; Indians don't need any reminding. But reviving the ghosts of Congress' past provided the only egress out of the Lalitgate conundrum for the ruling party.

It's a tried and tested way - of circumventing salvos from both the Opposition and the fourth estate, which has been perfected by the powers that were, and which has been one-upped by their saffron successors.

Surely, it buys time but does little to indemnify our embattled Foreign Minister. It is clear the BJP will not force Sushma to step down, but the Lalitgate albatross shall continue to hang around her neck.

In a few hours from now, her belligerent visage will adorn the front page of every major paper. Social media will like and share snippets of her speech to death; news channels will use the same to maximise their TRPs. In a few days from now, the noise will die down. In a few weeks, all the tomfoolery will be forgotten. For as they say - public memory is notoriously short.

The joke’s on India.

What Bobby Jindal must learn from the newest Indian in America

In a country with a teeming population of over a billion people, not every Indian has an opportunity to make it big in the country of his birth. Millions of patriots flock to greener pastures in search of sunrise, and return home to find things still moving at the pace of a bullock cart.

There is hope though. There is always hope as long as the young Indian grazes on perseverance and determination.  One such Indian giant by the name of Satnam Singh Bhamara did exactly that. He made it big - in America - by becoming the first Indian-born basketball player to be picked in the NBA draft (by the Dallas Mavericks).

Unlike Sim Bhullar - who is a Canadian of Indian-origin; Satnam is FBI (Full Blooded Indian). With cows for company, he honed his basketballing talents in the hitherto obscure town of Balloke in Punjab; and now, five years later, he has a one-way ticket to Dallas.

A little more than 170 km away from Balloke lies the town of Khanpura, the ancestral village of a man whose parents who had a one-way ticket to America, and never looked back; a man who's running for the most powerful job in the world - The President of the United States of America.

No prizes for guessing who the subject in question is - Bobby Jindal! The real question is: Who is he?

As Shashi Tharoor puts it, in an immigrant nation of atavists and assimilationists, he is the latter's dream; except that he takes his extreme belief an extra country mile.

In 2008, a 36-year old Bobby (née Piyush) Jindal achieved no mean feat when he became the first US Governor of Indian origin. He had broken the glass ceiling of American politics by occupying the highest office in Louisiana despite the brown colour of his skin.

India too revelled in the victory of their greatest export to the American political arena. But is it to India's credit that Jindal has achieved the success that he has? He doesn't believe so in the least.

Bobby Jindal hates, nay despises any association with all things Indian. The hyphen is his least favourite punctuation mark, the mirror his most disliked object- he loathes being called an Indian-American; he hates the colour of his skin and his Hindu past. He is among the most conservative of the conservative Republican Party, a white interior trapped in a brown exterior.

It is quite alright to not want to be termed a hyphenated-American, but to reject the idea with such indignation and disgust towards the nation of your parents is simply deplorable and disrespectful to anyone with Indian blood running through their veins.

Never mind that he is the antipode of Indianness, or that he doesn't like to acknowledge or celebrate his ancestry, one thing is quite certain: the road is the White House won't be easy. And Bobby Jindal certainly isn't banking on the support of the over 3 million strong Indian-American population to be US President.

But Jindal mustn't forget: Indians may be a divided community; but when they detest someone, their hatred is so fervently profound that it unites them notwithstanding the colour of their passports.  

And remember, when an Indian makes it big in America, the nation rejoices (ask Satnam). An Indian - who never forgets his roots.

French Open 2015: Nadal's loss and what it means

Gutted. Downtrodden. Run over. Dispirited. Forlorn. Lost.

These are the some of the words to describe how I feel about Novak Djokovic's straight-set pummelling of Rafael Nadal to dethrone the King of Clay.

The Djoker played like the best player in the world (that he is), and come Sunday, if he lifts the Coupe des Mousquetaires, he will have truly deserved it. Even as a Rafa fan, you ought to submit that Nole deserves to sink his teeth into the trophy that has eluded him for so long.

On any other occasion, I would have used the phrase - "Take nothing away from his victory", but tonight, Novak faced a man who looked beaten even before he stepped foot on the red dirt of Phillippe Chatrier. Nadal's demeanour coming into the tournament was jittery, and the nerves were palpable on his face and in his play, as he went down 0-4 in the first set before the heavens smiled, as he levelled the match by taking the next 4.

The hurrah was short-lived. Djokovic has been unplayable and even the 9-time Emperor at Roland Garros had to take his hat off for the World No. 1.

Once the first set was won, one would have expected the Spanish bull to charge forward and reclaim his territory. But somewhere deep in our heart of hearts, we knew that Nadal's time was up: his legendary comebacks - which helped cement his French Empire - were now woefully buried in the annals of tennis history.

His breath sagging, a crestfallen Rafa experienced déjà vu in the third and final set, trailing 0-4 to a Djokovic masterclass. But this time, the match had reach it's point of no return, and Nadal, his nadir.

Djokovic would finally etch his name alongside Robin Soderling as one of only two men to best the King of Clay at the French Open. Last year, and the one before, Nadal barely escaped by the skin of his teeth against Novak. But the writing was on the wall - It was only a matter of time. Defeat was inevitable. He's a mere mortal, after all.

This phenomenal statistic (70-2) defines the French Open, and stands to testimony to the greatness and resolve of two of the greatest players of all time (and a third not so great player).

Where does Nadal go from here? Let's not treat this as the end of Nadal; it's not all gone Pete Tong for Rafa.

It is time for a new beginning, a new game plan, and possibly a new coach (Uncle Toni needs to go). Though 29 isn't exactly the best age to reinvent one's game; Nadal must use this time to introspect, to take corrective action (possibly get married), and to find a way to return to his imperious all-round game; if he is to match or surpass Federer's record 17 slams at all. His unceremonious exit from Roland Garros could be prove to be the defining moment - the loss he so desperately needed. Probably not such a bad birthday gift after all.

The age of Djokovic was never under any serious threat; it is here to stay.  But let's not forget what happened to Soderling in 2009: the curse of the French.

Turkish Delight 2014: A Memoir

The very first personal remark I hear from most new acquaintances, is about how my appearance is un-Indian. It begins with estimation (regarding my nationality - Pakistani, Turkish, Arab), and ends in exclamation (when I reveal my identity). With time, I have come to enjoy the momentary befuddlement I bear witness to. The various titles I've acquired over the years - Sheikh, Pasha, Raees - have all added to the experience.

Having lived in Saudi Arabia for most of my life with Pakistanis as friends and colleagues, role-playing has been second nature to me.

I've always been hoping to discover the 'Pasha' within me; and last year, when an opportunity for a short vacation presented itself, Turkey was the only contender.

My brother Chirag and I got in touch with Garima Ahuja from It's My Getaway to map out an eight-day trip that would see the two of us traverse the Map of Turkey, from the edge of the Black Sea to the Mediterranean.

From the captivating caves of Cappadocia, to the alluring beaches of Antalya, to the pearly travertines of Pamukkale, and to the ineffable timelessness of Istanbul, there aren't enough words to describe Turkey. It is both Asian and European, an intercourse of history with modernity, an abode for the wandering hermit and a temple for the young and the beautiful.

I hope to recreate the eight days of sheer euphoria in some of the best pictures from the trip.

Cappadocia

The heart of the Hittite empire, this historical region is enshrouded by underground caves, fairy chimneys and hot air balloons. A great way to discover Turkey is through this picturesque Central Anatolian region.

We began our Turkey trip two days before Eid (Bayrami in Turkish) by flying into the region's Kayseri Airport via Istanbul, and driving to Goreme town in Nevsehir province.

Garima planned our stay at the the Anatolian Cave, a quaint hotel along a cobbled slope that begins at the head of a cave hill and descends into the frenzied marketplace of Goreme.

The breathtaking Hot Air Balloon ride was definitely the highlight of our 2-day stay in Cappadocia. The hour-long flight hovers over deep canyons, caves with bird shelters, and abstruse geological formations, all of which, make for a scintillating experience.

At 5am, buses brimming with eager tourists throng the balloon depot, and take off for the skies half an hour later - perhaps the only time you'll catch the first rays of the sun in an otherwise nocturnal Turkish trip.

The guided bus tour takes you across museums, caves, a pottery barn, orthodox churches and sweet shops in Goreme, Urgup, Uchisar and Derinkoyu and is highly recommended.

Antalya and Pamukkale

To me, Alexandria was the most amazing city on the Mediterranean coast. That was; until I landed in Antalya.

After a cheesy Cappadocian breakfast with chewy lokum (Turkish delight) for dessert, we departed for Antalya, an Anatolian beach town with a European vibe.

We stayed at the Crowne Plaza, located off Konyaalti beach, with the best view of both the Mediterranean (Akdeniz) and the Taurus mountains.

After parading on the beach until dusk, we found ourselves at Big Yellow Taxi, a funky beachside cafe which would become our favourite haunt for the rest of our trip. The food, drinks and nargile were just what we needed to unwind before our morning ride to Pamukkale and Hierapolis.

Pamukkale (Turkish for cotton castle) is a world heritage site nestled atop a travertine hill with warm springs for a therapeutic sunbath. Note: It is wise to invest in SPF 100 for sunscreen, or you may risk getting a painful red tan.

Adjacent to Pamukkale is the ancient city of Hierapolis, which is history served on a platter. The Hierapolis experience consists of medieval temples, theatres, gates and a necropolis from the Phrygian, Roman and Seljuk eras. The four hour bus ride to and from Pamukkale is complemented with visits museums and towns along the way.

Back to Antalya with a bronze complexion, we were quick to transit to Kaleici, the old city famous for its vintage feel and a bustling Marina. A short walkabout and some delectable dondurma (Turkish ice cream) later, we settled into our booth at Big Yellow Taxi with a couple of Jager bombs by the sea.

Before out midday flight to Istanbul, we visited our last stop in the city, the Antalya Museum - a treasure trove of Greco-Roman and Ottoman artefacts.

Istanbul

Istanbul is an entity by and unto itself. There is no better city that encapsulates the spirit of Europe and the heart of Asia as glamorously as Istanbul does. The seat of empires and religious institutions, Istanbul's grandeur and timeless opulence deserve a chapter on its own.

Even before you've landed in Istanbul, you will be entranced by the shiny blue waters of the Bosphorus; inviting you to its shores.

The varied identities of Istanbul are both discrete and yet twined together in a warm, eclectic embrace.

Sultanahmet, Blue Mosque, Aya Sofya, Topkapi, Grand Bazaar, Basilica Cistern, Spice Bazaar, the Bosphorus cruise, Taksim Square, Istiklal Caddesi, Galata, Ortakoy, Tophane, Beyoglu, Bebek, Atakoy Marina and Rumeli Hisari are some of the most popular spots we visited in the three days we spent in European Istanbul.

We stayed at the Best Western President Plus at Beyazit near Sultanahmet, which is an excellent location to access most of the sites listed above by foot, in not more than 20 minutes.

For those who dread walking the distance, there is an impressive Tramvay service that takes you to almost any tourist destination on the city map in just 4 liras (for Taksim, take the funikuler from Kabatas for an extra 4 liras).

The alternate route (also longer but more enjoyable) to Taksim is through Galata. About an hour before sunset, we hopped on the tram to Karakoy, and walked to the foot of Istiklal Caddesi, on to Galata Tower to catch the setting sun, and all the way up to Taksim Square. 

This is where Istanbul comes alive, this is where the party begins and coruscates into the night. 

A warm bite of Hafiz Mustafa's pistachioed baklava, coupled with the seductive charm of 

music at Nevizade Sokak, and you know you’ll never have enough of Istanbul. And you shouldn’t:

the transcontinental metropolis is one of the hottest nightlife destinations you’ll visit: (Hit Reina, 

Suada or any of the big room bars at Beyoglu for a night to remember.

The experience is surreal: Istanbul is as beautiful during the day as it is during under the bright night lights. I can't wait to revisit this magical country and pick up from where I left off.

By all accounts, this memoir has underwhelming, for there aren't enough words to describe Turkey. Almost like a beautiful baby, it has been nine months too late, but hopefully; it's been worth the wait.

5 things Kejriwal needs to do for Delhi right away

Yes, it was a clean 'sweep'.
Yes, it is good for democracy.
Yes, they did a Modi on Modi.
Yes, it's all gone Pete Tong for the BJP in Delhi.
Yes, it is the the dawning of a new era in Delhi politics.

What next?

It is perhaps, a no brainer that the people of Delhi - and by extension - India, are impatient.

Which also means that post Valentine's Day, Kejriwal needs to hit the ground running - popularity contest winners aren't afforded honeymoon periods. Ask Modi.

The vote was as decisive as it was unforeseeable and necessary. Pop the champagne, but at your own peril, for the young voters of Delhi are as fretful as they come. They swing easily.

Here are 5 things Kejriwal needs to keep in mind: 

1. Respect the historic mandate: The people do not forgive twice

Making history is second nature to the mufflerman. But never in his wildest dreams would anyone have anticipated such a lopsided election result in favour of the AAP.

What it means is that Kejriwal has the opportunity of a lifetime. With an opposition small enough to fit inside a Tata Nano, the former taxman really has enough elbow room to turn Delhi into the world-class city it deserves to be. Stamp his imprint over the city-state with authority, and he may well be able to keep the 'big two' out of power for decades to come.

Anything less than that would be simply unacceptable. The people do not forgive twice.

2. Live up to the promise of new politics

The Aam Aadmi Party's Election Manifesto was quite the model vision document. Curated and developed based on the party's successful 'Delhi Dialogue(s)', the manifesto is replete with freebies and promises that the party may find hard to keep.

In my opinion, the six most immediate objectives of the new Delhi Government should be (as promised and in no particular order): Electricity bills halved, pollution control, right to water, women's safety and security, full statehood, and the much vaunted and awaited Jan Lokpal Bill.

Though not impossible, the Kejriwal sarkar would find it hard to deliver on these promises. Of course, this would require a great deal of political tact (with which he is blessed in abundance) and a wee bit of quid pro quo with the Centre.

3. Put an end to confrontational politics: Stop blaming, start fixing

For some, power corrupts. Others, it makes them wiser, almost statesmanlike. Ask Modi.

Kejriwal sarkar has all the makings of a stable government: the mandate, the mood and the mantra. The AAP government mustn't govern in a manner that evokes memories of its shambolic 49-day first stint in power.

The politics of accusations and confrontations must come to an end. Dharnas suit the protester and not the administrator Kejriwal. If anything at all, start fixing the very things you promised to change, and you will earn a place in the capital's storied history.

4. Institutions of democracy have to be respected

Democracy in India is alive, free and fair, only because of: yes, you guessed it: The Election Commission. To accuse the most impartial national body of bias is, how do I put it: "Aapko shobha nahi deta".

Only last year, weeks after Kejriwal resigned as Chief Minister, he lashed out at the media for being "sold" to Modi, by Modi, for Modi. He also claimed he would "put media-wallahs behind bars" for this. Whether he really meant what he said is anybody's guess.

But now that he's CM-designate (for the second time), we would expect Kejriwal to exercise caution before he opens his gab.

5. Govern first, spread base later 

The AAP's astonishing political comeback would have solidified the belief within the party that it is destined for greater things. While it is healthy to aim for the stars, the insemination must be put on hold.

Before spreading its honest tentacles elsewhere, the Harry Potters must use their brooms to rid Delhi of the filth it is mired in. AAP must deliver good governance in the capital, and make Delhi its bastion, before they look to break new ground (Punjab).

....

A word of advice to both Kejriwal and Modi: Stop dreaming about the next Lok Sabha election.

In 2019, Modi could still be the only mass leader with a nationwide appeal, which may buttress his candidacy for a consecutive stint as Prime Minister, a first for the BJP. But resting on laurels may do his chances more harm than good. As we have learnt, peerless oratory and emphatic promises may win you an election, but a nation with a culture of restiveness entrenched in its DNA forgives no one. Ask the Congress.

As for Arvind, there's a long way to go before he's crowned Prime Minister. Going by the average of the incumbent and his predecessor, it'll roughly take you 13 years from the day of your first important assignment (CMship in his case) before you become Pradhan Mantri. Also, considering that he heads a party which hasn't yet gone national, it's wise to add 2-5 more years for good measure. So ideally, Kejriwal's best chance of becoming Prime Minister would be in 2019. Hold your horses till then, Mr. Muffler Man!

10 reasons why AAP's victory is good for India

The die has been cast.

For the first time in its half-state history, Delhi has elected a government devoid of the two major national parties, that too with more than just an absolute majority (67 seats). Quite unsurprisingly, the Aam Aadmi Party has bested its only real electoral nemesis - the BJP, 'sweeping' nearly all of Delhi with its incorruptible broom.

Despite what some quarters may believe, an AAP victory can only mean good news. Here's why:


1. Delhiites finally get a government they deserve

Much confusion had prevailed over the national capital ever since the AAP's 49-day debacle. Delhi finally gets a stable government that promises to be held accountable (this time around) and will (hopefully) see out the five-year term. We deserved it.


2. A non-Cong/BJP government - good for Delhi, good for democracy 

Well, not all non-Cong/BJP governments have succeeded in delivering good governance to their states (SP in UP, TMC in West Bengal), but Arvind Kejriwal's party looks like a more rejuvenated, formidable version of January 2014 itself, with most of the ingredients needed to govern Delhi. Also, it's great for democracy.


3.Three seats short of a full house

Who likes to play tambola? AAP does for sure.

The newbie party continues to outdo itself, sometimes to the disbelief of its own leaders. The Mufflerman and his trusted aide and psephologist Yogendra Yadav had expected to land anywhere between 46-51 seats, but alas, the Harry Potters of Delhi have more than doubled their tally from the last 2013 election; with 33 out every 35 seats going to the AAP! Easily outdoes Amitbhai's heroics of 2014 when he delivered UP to the BJP.


4. Kejriwal has 5 years to govern and nowhere to run

 The AAP's manifesto was, to say the least, more refreshing than the Congress' and the BJP's vision document. The magnitude of their victory represents the trust reposed in them by the electorate. Now, Kejriwal and his team must work steadfastly to translate the umpteen election promises into reality. He has five years to show for his work and nowhere to run.

You can't run, you can't hide and you can't escape Delhi's love.


5. Modi's first real defeat in 14 years

Modi is the one name you get to hear in almost all elections nowadays, whether he's contesting or not. Every election his party partakes in becomes a referendum on his personality; if he wins, the cult gets solidified. If he loses - well most people thought he was invincible; that's the way it has been for him since 2001 when he became Gujarat Chief Minister. Never one to taste defeat, Modi has been given a bitter pill to swallow by Delhi's CM-in-waiting. No better place to halt the Modi rath than the very capital where he resides.  

Let's hope he behaves statesmanlike and comes through on his promise of cooperation in Delhi's development.


6.The volunteer > karyakarta 

This election also marks a very significant victory. That of the animated volunteer over the indefatigable karyakarta/swamsewak (which also means volunteer). The volunteer, at a disadvantage financially, graciously accepted the headstart of a few months and began to work tirelessly. The karyakarta thought he had the winds and waves with him, but without a firm mast, his ship gave up.


7. The beginning of the end of vote bank politics

Don't cast your vote. Vote your caste.
Sorry, not this time.

I believe this election was a harbinger of change in the way electioneering was carried out. For the first time, a party successfully reached out to and canvassed support from all major sections, classes of society across caste and religious lines. This was only possible through a neutral and positive agenda that catered to all discriminated against none.


8. Thumbs down for communal politics 

Communal politics simply doesn't resonate with young India anymore. While Modi swept the general election on his promise of 'Sabka saath, sabka vikas', the idea hasn't been received as expected by his ideological cohorts. The Delhi election season played out against the backdrop of religious tensions, imprudent statements by loony members of the ruling party, and an intractable air of vitriol, all of which allowed the AAP to extract maximum political dividends.


9. The election that brought some sense into the voting class

Delhi is impatient as it is pragmatic. Nowhere else is it cool to be a Modi supporter at the national level, while voting Kejriwal to power in Delhi with a near full house.

Delhi separates the 'bhakts' from the brains. Delhi forgives but doesn't forget.

As far as voting patterns are concerned, BJP has lost trust in all the 57 assembly constituencies that it won just nine months ago, some of which (like Harsh Vardhan/Bedi's Krishna Nagar) were considered impregnable. BJP's monumental debacle has come at the hands of an informed voting class that deserves credit for its intelligence.


10. Allows Congress to rebuild and BJP to return their development agenda

The only success Modi has had in this election is his dream of a Congress-mukt Bharat inching closer to realization. To deracinate the Grand Old Party from the capital is no mean feat; a complete wipeout is insuperable. Whether they can rebuild in time to save what is left of their sinking ship is a question only the Gandhis can answer.

The BJP must've been dealt a hard blow with this defeat; but they had it coming. Their electoral successes in other states turned into complacency which literally got to their head. The cadre-centric formula works everywhere else but not in Delhi. Delhi deserves better.

Dear Pradhan Mantriji

Dear Pradhan Mantriji,

As of this writing, Delhi has voted and an encouraging 67 percent turnout has been recorded.

Regardless of what the final tally will be, the Delhi vote is overwhelmingly in favour of the Aam Aadmi Party. Whether you like it or not, the brazenness of your acolytes and the reticence of your government has caused you to cede ground in the very city that hosted you with the adulation fit for a hero.

Exactly ten months ago, the scenario had been quite different. India had been fed up with an effete UPA government and in “Modi sarkar” we trusted. On voting day, we happily dyed our indexes with violet, but our hearts were doused in saffron.

The sarkar promised us “Sabka saath, Sabka vikas”, pro-people good governance and development that would catapult us to the league of extraordinary nations. And we thought we had a hero.

We applauded you for pitching India to the East and the West, but you seemed to forget the very constituency that authorized your all-expenses paid world tour. We voted for you because of your promise to translate your vision into palpable development. Never forget that the barometer of development moves its needle only when there is real delivery and less rhetoric.

Of course, development doesn’t appear out of thin air. It takes time. When you say we need to “Make in India”, I’m with you cent per cent. When you exhort Indians across the world to give back to their motherland by “manufacturing” development, I’m listening with intent.

But all I, and millions of young Indians wish to know is - "Manufacturing” communal polarization, is this a component of your developmental agenda?

So wait, are you saying that it'll take years before we see any tangible economic development, but your hard-line cohorts are ready to stir up a riot on demand?

Dear Pradhan Mantriji,
I do believe that you aren’t always in control of those who spew venom at will. But your visible inability to rein in these minions coupled with your deafening silence on the issue casts doubts in our minds and aspersions on your image.

In the run up to Lok Sabha 2014, you spoke about India’s need to harness the potential of its youth — the largest percentage for any country in the world.

Pradhan Mantriji, it seems, by acquiescing to your party’s cultural progenitors, you have absolutely underestimated the power of young India.

We have been to the moon and back, continue to grow leaps and bounds in the fields of science, technology, and expect to be the economy of the future (only second to China). So, how exactly do you expect India’s generations X & Y; who have grown up pledging to protect the saffron, white, green and blue, to subscribe to an archaic agenda?

We are a tolerant civilization, or at least we used to be. We are “tolerant” enough to turn a blind eye to rapes and sexual harassment, but cannot swallow bitter 'roasts' (especially if they’re aimed at someone else). We don’t mind being the second largest population in the world (soon to pip China to the top spot), and yet Valentine’s Day is now a day to fear express marriages, not to celebrate love.

To cut right down to it PMji, your lack of discernment for India’s youth may cost you dear. I’m afraid the Modi-Amitbhai juggernaut would come to a halt outside Delhi’s Vidhan Sabha. It's a wake up call you better pay heed to.

Irrespective of ancestry and religion, any and every Indian has a stake in this country. Vitiating the atmosphere time and time again never really helped anyone. Except, of course the party you lead and the one you have opposed for eons.

Your party’s successes in other states might have compelled you to use the same cadre-centric formula for Delhi; except, Delhi isn’t like any other state. Kiran Bedi might be a model citizen, but by anointing her as Chief-Ministerial-hopeful, Amitbhai has clearly pushed the panic button.

In Kejriwal, I see a man I disagree with on many fronts, but have come to admire on issues that matters most. Whether you love him or hate him you cannot debate that he truly has gauged the pulse of the capital.

While you dawdled on setting a time-frame for the poll, the muffler man deftly canvassed support from all quarters, castes, communities and sections of Delhi society. By the time you joined the party (a tad too late), and decided to go gung-ho, Kejriwal had already succeeded with own “ghar waapsi”, wooing the common man into the fold.

Politicians like the ones your party continually rewards, make mistakes and get away with them. Only a common man errs, owns up and apologizes for his shortcomings. And such a common man deserves respect, despite his 49-day debacle and relative administrative inexperience.

I’m not a Bhakt, but I still subscribe to your agenda of “vikas” for all of “Bharatvarsha”; I’m willing to snub all of your naysayers, if you come through on your promises.

But for Delhi, my Delhi, the heart says “ab ki baar Kejriwal”, and to him my vote (virtual) goes. It’s a gamble we’re willing to take.

Schrodinger's Cat.

I stepped into my car;

Mr  Satan in the passenger seat,

And he said, “ I shall spare this life of yours,

Shall you be willing to take me to Hell’s Kitchen.”

Sensing the casual loop I said,

“Well as you like it ,Mr Baton.”

“And just what did you call me, Mr Dible?”

“I would prefer Incrad, sugarpie.”

It seemed as if a role reversal had taken place.

An implosion was imminent,

With Dark Angels too?

The wrath was infernal, swallowing everything in its path.

My brain wasn’t dead , they said,

And I had a choice to make.

To enter a parallel universe ,

To avoid sipping poison from the cup, like my friend, the cat

That was so perfectly placed, oh the effervescence.

Like Satan studied Feng Shui.

I evaded death in surrealism.

And even Satan succumbed to his own connivance.

I can see Einstein , Podolsky, and Rosen, gleaming with pride,

Smiling with my smile.

Thanks to Erwin Schrodinger,

I can still do that for a while.

India 2014: Varanasi's Roadshow Rut and the Road to Delhi

For the whole of last week, it seemed India's capital had shifted some 500 miles south east to the holy town of Varanasi. Nestled on the banks of the river Ganga, Varanasi - known locally as Kashi or Banaras, has become more than a just a town linked to the spirituality it bestows upon its visitors; it has become larger than life; for on May 12 it will bear witness to the most decisive political battle in this year's Lok Sabha elections.

Lenity would force observers into believing that the fight for the Varanasi seat is a three horse race (Uttar Pradesh's ruling Samajwadi Party (SP) isn't even in the running). This is indeed music to the ears of his detractors, but they may have to concede that Bharatiya Janata Party's (BJP) PM-candidate Narendra Modi is the frontrunner to wrest the key constituency. Other claimants for Varanasi include the Aam Aadmi Party's (AAP) Arvind Kejriwal, whose short-lived stint as Chief Minister of Delhi was seen as utterly tumultuous and a betrayal of those who voted for him; and the Congress's lesser known candidate Ajay Rai, who built his chequered career as a BJP legislator before defecting to the former.

The 2014 election is touted to be 'the biggest' poll of its kind, not only because of the enormity of India's voting populace (estimated to be well over 800 million), but because come May 16, the world's largest democracy is likely to witness the proverbial and electoral decimation of the ruling Congress party.

The Congress, patronized and run by the Gandhi family for decades has had a vice-like grip on the nation's political and jugular vein. Modi, who's making his first foray into national politics, is widely expected to ride the eponymous wave of fervor and anti-incumbency and form India's next government.

Holding the Congress's last stand is the family’s diffident heir Rahul Gandhi, who has failed to sway the tide in his party's favor. When all hope was lost, he even went about influencing voters in poll booths during polling in his constituency Amethi, but was let off scot free by the Election Commission of India
(EC) even after several complaints were lodged in his name.

The EC's credibility as a neutral poll body came under fire when it rejected BJP's application for Modi to hold a rally in Varanasi's Benia Bagh, but granted his opponents including Kejriwal, Gandhi and Uttar Pradesh's Chief Minister Akhilesh Yadav permission to campaign at the same venue.

Making the most of what he could, Modi instead led a gargantuan roadshow from the Kashi's prestigious Banaras Hindu University (BHU) to the party's headquarters in the city. The three mile stretch took more than four hours to cover, as hordes of supporters and townsfolk thronged the streets to catch a rare glimpse of a man who could very well be India's next Prime Minister. Beyond doubt, Modi's procession made a greater impact than a rally ever would have. Such was its success that it forced his political rivals to stage roadshows of their own.

"If Modi comes, can Kejriwal be far behind?" asks one observer, who witnessed all the other Modi-induced rallies. Kejriwal indeed wasn't far behind. A day after Modi came and conquered Kashi, "Kejriwal was met with many supporters, but this didn't seem quite different to his protest rallies and his dharna," he adds. Only a few months ago, Kejriwal graduated from full time agitator to bit-part politician to unsettled administrator. His party has come of age a little too quickly, but it seems it hasn't quite shaken off its cantankerous side.

Only days earlier, Modi addressed a massive rally in the Gandhi’s bastion Amethi, which came as an alarm to the first family. It didn't come as much of a surprise when Gandhi returned Modi's favor, showing up with his own motorcade in Varanasi in a relatively meek show of strength. Much to the former’s dismay, not only was his Kashi rally dwarfed by Modi's, he had to deal with a rival procession a few miles away from his own – Akhilesh Yadav's. Yadav's rally had no real purpose behind it, except perhaps, to avoid a loss of face in the state he has sloppily ruled.

As has become quite fashionable this election, all three men went all guns blazing on Modi. What they didn't realize however is that, in an attempt to emulate Modi and throw dirt on him, they have actually played into his hands. Not only is Modi expected to win a majority of the Hindu vote (Hindus comprise 85% of Varanasi's population); the close contest between the other parties will ensure that the minority vote is split between the three. Modi couldn’t ask for more.

In all honesty, the Varanasi roadshow rut was unnecessary yet exuberant. For once, it did illuminate the 'City of Lights'; probably like never before, or after.

'2 States' bears testimony to India's cultural divisions

Not many books or movies successfully capture the oneness of India despite all of its diversity. Few go further and capture how divided it is despite its oneness.

Based on and named after Chetan Bhagat's book, 2 States (inspired by the real life romance between the author and his wife) does exactly that.

An appropriately vivid tale about how two contrasting India cultures are made to reconcile in the face of love, 2 States is utterly Indian in every sense of the word, evokes both pride and dismay, and will leave you yearning for more.

If you haven't read the book (I haven't), you should definitely watch the movie for the whole package - emotion, laughter, humour, and a good story to back it up. All of these you can find in Bhagat's other works (which later spawned movies of their own), and he knows how fully well how to bubble-wrap all these elements in his lucid manner.

Back to the movie. Not only did it leave me satisfied, it also gave me many things to think and talk about but perhaps the one thing that got me thinking was this:

For Delhiites and Punjabi Delhiites in particular, 2 States reinforces the idea of the typical Punjabi and the stereotype that revolves around the community. As the reel ticked on, I saw glimpses of myself, my folks, and my community as a whole. Reality bites hard for the Punjabi viewer when we are seen as an unabashedly disparate, undesirably boisterous lot (which we kinda are). Though the references are mostly correct, the film purveys the idea that Punjabi-ness is in a way, some kind of a cultural abomination to and in India.

Post-show, the more I ponder over what I saw, the more it makes me realize that maybe the Punjabi Delhiite wasn't actually inaccurately represented. Since I work in the Middle East, where several thousand Indians ship out to make a better living, the very mention of 'Delhiite' is enough to cause an unexpected flinch of the eye. A latent awkwardness that pervades the air for a second. Add to that the term 'Punjabi', and it may well be enough to give a 'Tamilian' worry lines all over his forehead.

Much to my surprise, this isn't what happens in '2 States'; at least between the lovers. A Punjabi Krish (hardly the typical Punjabi munda) and an uncharacteristically Tamilian Ananya , the two central characters played by Arjun Kapoor and Alia Bhatt respectively, find common ground in everything else - tandoori chicken, Economics and the simplest relationship between two persons - friendship. The stark difference in their backgrounds only begins to appear once they decide to get married and bring their parents into the picture.

And you guessed right: the parents simply do not get along with one another as prevailing cultural stigmas get fortified, with neither side refusing to budge.

Throw in a Punjabi wedding for good measure, and one truly begins to understand the deep chasm north Indian culture vis-a-vis the south. We are loud; they are reticent. We are overly possessive; they are indifferent. When under the influence, we are fun and yet a menace to deal with; they're perennially wonkish. All this and more brings out the incongruity of India's varied cultures.

I don't know whether this movie will draw the ire of Punjabis (or even Tamilians); whether it will encourage them to improve how they interact with other communities (better yet), or simply choose not to react to it.

I do know that while there is a minority of revisionists within the Punjabi community, most of us take pride in what we do, eat and drink. It is the way how the Punjabi simply is, and I believe a lot of it should remain as it is. Though I am among the most passive, I can speak for Punjabis, because I am one. We all need to speak up and sometimes against our folks.

Beyond a shadow of a doubt, 2 States bears testimony to India's cuItural divisions. In the India we want our children to live in, it should be absolutely acceptable for a Tamilian to marry a Punjabi, an Assamese to wed a Gujarati, or for any two Indians to whom community comes second to love.

All in all this movie is a treat to watch. Perseverance conquers all.

BJP may form India's next Government, but with Congress' support

 

There comes a time in the history of every great nation, when its citizens see a ray of hope out of despair; an opportunity to rewrite history, and to take the country to where it deserves to be.

For better or for worse, it is in Modi that a majority of Indians see the egress out of the era of political gloom and despondency institutionalized by a rarefied Congress-led UPA regime. His continual surge has brought him a fair share of critics and bounty hunters, who hold him culpable for orchestrating the unfortunate riots in Gujarat - a charge still unproven even after 10 years of inquests, accusations and political coercion. He has successfully warded off even his most formidable baiters, winning election after election, going from strength to strength.

From selling tea on the streets of Vadnagar to heading one of the fastest growing states in India, Modi's meteoric rise is viewed as a harbinger for positive change in India.

The 'Modi wave' is reverberating across the country. Much to the dismay of his opponents, it is very much present.

But it seems the BJP clearly isn't using this to its advantage. It is banking on the support of the Congress to win next month's Lok Sabha election.

Instead of riding the wave of anti-incumbency and propelling its home-grown candidates to win the election, the BJP has instead hired celebrities; and imported candidates from parties symbolic of graft, to secure its Mission 272+. Such electoral temerity does the saffron juggernaut no favours. In fact, it reeks of shambolism.

The very leaders that had denounced Modi as 'communal' are now singing paeans in his name. When leaders of 'secular' formations like the Congress, RJD and the JDU chose to defect to the BJP, it has little to do with ideology and everything to do with cashing in on an opportunity. Who's to say they won't do the same when the BJP is in dire straits? Candidates that shift base months prior to the election cannot be trusted to stick with the party. The late Vidya Charan Shukla was a prime example of such a flip-flopper.

The grassroot workers; who toil all year round and play an elemental role in a party's electoral performance, do not possess the same zest and motivation in ensuring the victory of rookie film star politicians and tainted ex-opponents, whom they perceive as encroachers of their political territory, foisted upon them by the party.

To the Indian voters, who have vowed to deracinate any remnants of the UPA regime, it is highly disheartening to see ex-Congressmen stand for elections wearing saffron. It is almost like voting for the wolf in sheep's clothing.

While the BJP may like to view its newfound allure as a wider acceptance of Modi's leadership, the influx of outsiders has also exposed the latent cracks within its leadership.

In a painful kerfuffle over the Barmer seat, ex-Finance and Foreign Minister Jaswant Singh, who was one of the pillars of the Atal Bihari Vajpayee-led Government, has been snubbed by the BJP for former Congress leader Colonel Sonaram Chaudhary. Singh, with his pride intact, will now contest as an Independent candidate, which may well cost the party the Barmer seat.

Not all has gone wrong. Wisdom prevailed over the BJP leadership when they decided to oust religious extremist Pramod Muthalik, within five hours of his joining the party.

This is why the BJP must ride the Modi wave, and hand out tickets to candidates who would have otherwise had little chance to win an election. It has attacked the Congress for presiding over a dark decade of corruption and misgovernance. If the defections and chicanery continue, the BJP may soon have a mini-Congress clique within its ranks.

In over a month and a half, the Indian electorate will have spoken. And we may well have a BJP-led Government with the support of the Congress.      

Kejriwal's open threat to press freedom may be his undoing

A few weeks back the internet was flooded with articles about how the pulping of Wendy Doniger's book The Hindus was a threat to freedom of expression in India.

Most of these pieces, written by writers who claimed to be of a 'secular' disposition squarely blamed this ‘atmosphere of fear’ on the religious right, whose emergence they forewarned would stifle free speech. 

In one way or another, they presaged that a right leaning government would curb dissent to the fullest extent possible.

What is interesting to note is that these very same ‘secularists' have been sympathetic to Arvind Kejriwal and the Aam Aadmi Party since its inception. That the rise of Kejriwal and the AAP is the handiwork of the mainstream media is perhaps, a foregone conclusion.

Now, almost like an auctioneer, the former Chief Minister of Delhi claims that the media - that facilitated his rise - is in fact "sold". 

If this wasn't enough, in a comment reminiscent of the Emergency-era, he opines that "heavy amounts have been paid" to TV channels "to promote Modi".

So are we to assume that Kejriwal, who was recently exposed in a video fixing an interview broadcast with Aaj Tak's Punya Prasun Bajpai, has paid 'heavy amounts' to the channel to promote him. 

More appalling yet, was his statement that if the AAP ever comes to power, "media-wallahs" could actually be put behind bars. Isn't this what stifling of freedom of expression is? No government in India, save for Indira Gandhi's tyrannous regime, has threatened to put journalists behind bars for doing their job.

When asked whether he had made these comments, Kejriwal simply couldn't admit he had done a 'Romney'.

To understand this issue better, there are a few questions that we need to answer.

Is Indian media biased - Sure. The very fact that he is surrounded by a coterie of former journalists who are 'senior' leaders in his party - Manish Sisodia and Shazia Ilmi (formerly Zee News), Ashutosh (formerly IBN 7) and Ashish Khaitan (ex-Tehelka) prove this point.

Is the media sold? Maybe, but we don't know for sure. 

Do media-wallahs deserve to be jailed for their bias? Well, Kejriwal says so. 

The real question is - Why does Kejriwal make such accusations only against the Gujarat Chief Minister, and not members the Congress-led UPA Government at the Centre?

Well, why does Kejriwal only make accusations and more accusations? Only he knows. What we do know is that he has mastered the art of 'hit and run' politics. No to क्रन्तिकारी!

It was only a matter of time before Kejriwal took his sophomoric jibes to the next level. 

Of recent, he has tried hard to throw dirt at the BJP and its Prime-Ministerial candidate Narendra Modi. Taking repeated potshots at the Gujarat Chief Minister using unfounded statistics is part of his feeble attempt to remain relevant.

Although it is hard for him to acknowledge, Kejriwal too, has been swept by the Modi wave.

It is perhaps the first time in India's history that an opposition party hopeful of forming the next Government has been targeted as though it already is in power.

Modi has had to brave a fair share of allegations for over a decade. Not once has he intimidated journalists or the media who have gone against his writ with incarceration.

Just as the Congress perceives itself to be the voice of 'secularism', Kejriwal sees himself as the custodian of 'righteousness'. And this is where he proves to be ahead of his political progenitors - Kejriwal simply cannot deal with criticism or dissent.

Kejriwal promises he has a plan for India, and he may well have one; but we are yet to see it in full. But he isn't a protester anymore; he is a politician.

Whether he is able handle criticism with care, only time will tell. What he cannot afford to do is threaten free speech and a free media. His tomfoolery may be his undoing.

Dhoom: 3 review: Should you really watch it?

Ordinarily, I would never do a movie review. It just isn't my thing. But for a flick with quite an alluring starcast to be this bad, I just had to write this piece.

Here goes:

SPOILERS AHEAD

There is a recurring theme in almost all movie franchises that revolve around bikes, vengeance and money: They continue to revolve bikes, vengeance and money, albeit faster, meaner, bigger.

Dhoom: 3 is more of the same storyline in a different setting. This time it's in Chicago. Abhishek Bachchan plays the same old top cop Jai Dixit with the same old sidekick Ali Akbar - whose diminutive on screen presence keeps getting more and more annoying with each passing Dhoom-oment.

Aamir plays bad guy Sahir with a poignant back story that fuels his sense of revenge towards an evil 'stone-hearted' banker corporately named Mr. Anderson. Sahir's father Iqbal Khan (played by Jackie Shroff in a cameo), mired in colossal debt to Anderson's Western Bank of Chicago, takes his own life when the latter pulls the shutter on his dream project - The Great Indian Circus.

Sahir is robber extraordinaire-cum Tony Stark by day, masquerades as a circus man by night. But like other men of his ilk, Sahir lives with a long-kept secret: a reclusive, slavish, autistic twin named Samar living in his brother's great shadow. Samar is his expedient but also his kryptonite.

Katrina Kaif plays Aliya, a freelance artist (if I may call her that) whose strip-as-you-skip dancing will leave you gasping for air. Katrina employs her signature hip-thrust with elan, and this is one of the few takeaways from Dhoom: 3.

OK, now for the real review. I'ma keep it short and sweet.

Dhoom: 3 is really just a bad mesh of Road Rash and GTA on drum and bass.

Dhoom: 3 is the reason why computer-generated imagery artists still get a paycheck. More of the same larger than life, unoriginal stunts packaged to deceive the viewer. Fail.

Too many people are wondering why Uday Chopra hasn't retired yet. Well, we should really leave that up to Aditya Chopra, coz' he's always out there for lil' bro.

I have always believed Abhishek Bachchan isn't half a bad actor as he is made out to be. But his vapid performance as Jai Dixit does nothing to prove his critics wrong.

Katrina Kaif's role adds to the sex appeal of the mean machine franchise. Besides her seemingly sensual intro number, and the gymnastic prowess with which she gyrates, she offers little to the film.

If at all Dhoom: 3 has a star, then it has got to be Aamir. Much has been said about his timeless versatility in Bollywood, where he can count only one other actor as his peer - Hrithik Roshan, who unsurprisingly played Abhishek's nemesis in the previous Dhoom instalment.

Take nothing away from Aamir - the ease with which he plays both devious Sahir and dupable Samar is a delight to watch. But then again, Aamir's performance does little to salvage a predictably boring plot.

The one thing that I did like about Dhoom: 3 is the adage Iqbal Khan recites with his sons, and which they continue to render time and again, even to their deaths.

Bande Hain Hum Uske
Hum Pe Kiska Zor
Ummedon Ke Suraj
Nikle Charon Aur
Irade Hain Fauladi
Himati Har Kadam
Apne Haathon Kismat Likhne
Aaj Chale Hain Hum

But I wonder why the Chicago Police Department would need to fly an Indian cop all the way to solve a bank robbery case. Beats my mind.

Dhoom and Dhoom: 2 may have done justice to the onomatopoeia 'Dhoom'. Dhoom: 3 fails to pack a punch.

You might laud the dance sequences, specially the acrobat-like display from Katrina and Aamir in 'Malang.' But do you need to watch the movie? No, just YouTube em'.

Well then, how bad is Dhoom?

In the first few minutes, when Jackie Shroff puts a gun to his head, and pulls the trigger, you really wish it was you instead of him.

If you are going to watch it anyway, here's something golden: Watch the first ten minutes, step out of the theatre for the next 120, and step back in. You won't regret it.

Rating - *, at best **.


P.S. - You could instead watch this - AIB's humble plea to Bollywood