Sushma's Swaraj: The Joke's on India

Not to be derisive, but after witnessing Wednesday's rambunctious Lok Sabha session, one mustn't point fingers at our political class; they are giving the Indian populace exactly what they want - pure, no-holds-barred entertainment. To watch two of the most experienced parliamentary debaters in Sushma Swaraj and Arun Jaitley convincingly best the Gandhi family made for one epic treat/burn, which would even make a certain Goswami chuckle.


The Congress party could certainly function better as a more constructive Opposition but even despite Rahul Gandhi's buffoonery (See expert without knowledge), I do believe they did ask the right questions and Sushma should've put the Lalitgate matter to bed once and for all instead of being so obscurantist. Her pugnacious yet plain assertion that she'd "done nothing wrong" simply didn't lend credence to her stand.

Ever since her appointment as MEA, she has reached out to and provided humanitarian aid to many an Indian in distress and could have posited the same theory in defence of her assistance to Lalit Modi. But voila, she handed it back to the Gandhis in a language that they best understand: Accuse the accuser; turn defence into attack.

The fact of the matter is, allegations cannot be countered with more allegations. Two wrongs don’t make a right. Their scams vs our scandals, their secularism vs our nationalism, their riots vs ours, their absconders vs ours. Maybe that’s what Sushma means by “Quid pro quo”.

Every party has skeletons in its closet; none more so than the Congress, and that's probably why the Grand Old Party has been relegated to double-digit Opposition benches after ten years of misrule. Let's not forget, it was under the UPA's tenure that Lalit Modi turned 'fugitive'. Wednesday's session should not have been about what Rahul's दादी, मम्मी and पापा have done; Indians don't need any reminding. But reviving the ghosts of Congress' past provided the only egress out of the Lalitgate conundrum for the ruling party.

It's a tried and tested way - of circumventing salvos from both the Opposition and the fourth estate, which has been perfected by the powers that were, and which has been one-upped by their saffron successors.

Surely, it buys time but does little to indemnify our embattled Foreign Minister. It is clear the BJP will not force Sushma to step down, but the Lalitgate albatross shall continue to hang around her neck.

In a few hours from now, her belligerent visage will adorn the front page of every major paper. Social media will like and share snippets of her speech to death; news channels will use the same to maximise their TRPs. In a few days from now, the noise will die down. In a few weeks, all the tomfoolery will be forgotten. For as they say - public memory is notoriously short.

The joke’s on India.

5 things Kejriwal needs to do for Delhi right away

Yes, it was a clean 'sweep'.
Yes, it is good for democracy.
Yes, they did a Modi on Modi.
Yes, it's all gone Pete Tong for the BJP in Delhi.
Yes, it is the the dawning of a new era in Delhi politics.

What next?

It is perhaps, a no brainer that the people of Delhi - and by extension - India, are impatient.

Which also means that post Valentine's Day, Kejriwal needs to hit the ground running - popularity contest winners aren't afforded honeymoon periods. Ask Modi.

The vote was as decisive as it was unforeseeable and necessary. Pop the champagne, but at your own peril, for the young voters of Delhi are as fretful as they come. They swing easily.

Here are 5 things Kejriwal needs to keep in mind: 

1. Respect the historic mandate: The people do not forgive twice

Making history is second nature to the mufflerman. But never in his wildest dreams would anyone have anticipated such a lopsided election result in favour of the AAP.

What it means is that Kejriwal has the opportunity of a lifetime. With an opposition small enough to fit inside a Tata Nano, the former taxman really has enough elbow room to turn Delhi into the world-class city it deserves to be. Stamp his imprint over the city-state with authority, and he may well be able to keep the 'big two' out of power for decades to come.

Anything less than that would be simply unacceptable. The people do not forgive twice.

2. Live up to the promise of new politics

The Aam Aadmi Party's Election Manifesto was quite the model vision document. Curated and developed based on the party's successful 'Delhi Dialogue(s)', the manifesto is replete with freebies and promises that the party may find hard to keep.

In my opinion, the six most immediate objectives of the new Delhi Government should be (as promised and in no particular order): Electricity bills halved, pollution control, right to water, women's safety and security, full statehood, and the much vaunted and awaited Jan Lokpal Bill.

Though not impossible, the Kejriwal sarkar would find it hard to deliver on these promises. Of course, this would require a great deal of political tact (with which he is blessed in abundance) and a wee bit of quid pro quo with the Centre.

3. Put an end to confrontational politics: Stop blaming, start fixing

For some, power corrupts. Others, it makes them wiser, almost statesmanlike. Ask Modi.

Kejriwal sarkar has all the makings of a stable government: the mandate, the mood and the mantra. The AAP government mustn't govern in a manner that evokes memories of its shambolic 49-day first stint in power.

The politics of accusations and confrontations must come to an end. Dharnas suit the protester and not the administrator Kejriwal. If anything at all, start fixing the very things you promised to change, and you will earn a place in the capital's storied history.

4. Institutions of democracy have to be respected

Democracy in India is alive, free and fair, only because of: yes, you guessed it: The Election Commission. To accuse the most impartial national body of bias is, how do I put it: "Aapko shobha nahi deta".

Only last year, weeks after Kejriwal resigned as Chief Minister, he lashed out at the media for being "sold" to Modi, by Modi, for Modi. He also claimed he would "put media-wallahs behind bars" for this. Whether he really meant what he said is anybody's guess.

But now that he's CM-designate (for the second time), we would expect Kejriwal to exercise caution before he opens his gab.

5. Govern first, spread base later 

The AAP's astonishing political comeback would have solidified the belief within the party that it is destined for greater things. While it is healthy to aim for the stars, the insemination must be put on hold.

Before spreading its honest tentacles elsewhere, the Harry Potters must use their brooms to rid Delhi of the filth it is mired in. AAP must deliver good governance in the capital, and make Delhi its bastion, before they look to break new ground (Punjab).

....

A word of advice to both Kejriwal and Modi: Stop dreaming about the next Lok Sabha election.

In 2019, Modi could still be the only mass leader with a nationwide appeal, which may buttress his candidacy for a consecutive stint as Prime Minister, a first for the BJP. But resting on laurels may do his chances more harm than good. As we have learnt, peerless oratory and emphatic promises may win you an election, but a nation with a culture of restiveness entrenched in its DNA forgives no one. Ask the Congress.

As for Arvind, there's a long way to go before he's crowned Prime Minister. Going by the average of the incumbent and his predecessor, it'll roughly take you 13 years from the day of your first important assignment (CMship in his case) before you become Pradhan Mantri. Also, considering that he heads a party which hasn't yet gone national, it's wise to add 2-5 more years for good measure. So ideally, Kejriwal's best chance of becoming Prime Minister would be in 2019. Hold your horses till then, Mr. Muffler Man!

Dear Pradhan Mantriji

Dear Pradhan Mantriji,

As of this writing, Delhi has voted and an encouraging 67 percent turnout has been recorded.

Regardless of what the final tally will be, the Delhi vote is overwhelmingly in favour of the Aam Aadmi Party. Whether you like it or not, the brazenness of your acolytes and the reticence of your government has caused you to cede ground in the very city that hosted you with the adulation fit for a hero.

Exactly ten months ago, the scenario had been quite different. India had been fed up with an effete UPA government and in “Modi sarkar” we trusted. On voting day, we happily dyed our indexes with violet, but our hearts were doused in saffron.

The sarkar promised us “Sabka saath, Sabka vikas”, pro-people good governance and development that would catapult us to the league of extraordinary nations. And we thought we had a hero.

We applauded you for pitching India to the East and the West, but you seemed to forget the very constituency that authorized your all-expenses paid world tour. We voted for you because of your promise to translate your vision into palpable development. Never forget that the barometer of development moves its needle only when there is real delivery and less rhetoric.

Of course, development doesn’t appear out of thin air. It takes time. When you say we need to “Make in India”, I’m with you cent per cent. When you exhort Indians across the world to give back to their motherland by “manufacturing” development, I’m listening with intent.

But all I, and millions of young Indians wish to know is - "Manufacturing” communal polarization, is this a component of your developmental agenda?

So wait, are you saying that it'll take years before we see any tangible economic development, but your hard-line cohorts are ready to stir up a riot on demand?

Dear Pradhan Mantriji,
I do believe that you aren’t always in control of those who spew venom at will. But your visible inability to rein in these minions coupled with your deafening silence on the issue casts doubts in our minds and aspersions on your image.

In the run up to Lok Sabha 2014, you spoke about India’s need to harness the potential of its youth — the largest percentage for any country in the world.

Pradhan Mantriji, it seems, by acquiescing to your party’s cultural progenitors, you have absolutely underestimated the power of young India.

We have been to the moon and back, continue to grow leaps and bounds in the fields of science, technology, and expect to be the economy of the future (only second to China). So, how exactly do you expect India’s generations X & Y; who have grown up pledging to protect the saffron, white, green and blue, to subscribe to an archaic agenda?

We are a tolerant civilization, or at least we used to be. We are “tolerant” enough to turn a blind eye to rapes and sexual harassment, but cannot swallow bitter 'roasts' (especially if they’re aimed at someone else). We don’t mind being the second largest population in the world (soon to pip China to the top spot), and yet Valentine’s Day is now a day to fear express marriages, not to celebrate love.

To cut right down to it PMji, your lack of discernment for India’s youth may cost you dear. I’m afraid the Modi-Amitbhai juggernaut would come to a halt outside Delhi’s Vidhan Sabha. It's a wake up call you better pay heed to.

Irrespective of ancestry and religion, any and every Indian has a stake in this country. Vitiating the atmosphere time and time again never really helped anyone. Except, of course the party you lead and the one you have opposed for eons.

Your party’s successes in other states might have compelled you to use the same cadre-centric formula for Delhi; except, Delhi isn’t like any other state. Kiran Bedi might be a model citizen, but by anointing her as Chief-Ministerial-hopeful, Amitbhai has clearly pushed the panic button.

In Kejriwal, I see a man I disagree with on many fronts, but have come to admire on issues that matters most. Whether you love him or hate him you cannot debate that he truly has gauged the pulse of the capital.

While you dawdled on setting a time-frame for the poll, the muffler man deftly canvassed support from all quarters, castes, communities and sections of Delhi society. By the time you joined the party (a tad too late), and decided to go gung-ho, Kejriwal had already succeeded with own “ghar waapsi”, wooing the common man into the fold.

Politicians like the ones your party continually rewards, make mistakes and get away with them. Only a common man errs, owns up and apologizes for his shortcomings. And such a common man deserves respect, despite his 49-day debacle and relative administrative inexperience.

I’m not a Bhakt, but I still subscribe to your agenda of “vikas” for all of “Bharatvarsha”; I’m willing to snub all of your naysayers, if you come through on your promises.

But for Delhi, my Delhi, the heart says “ab ki baar Kejriwal”, and to him my vote (virtual) goes. It’s a gamble we’re willing to take.

India 2014: Varanasi's Roadshow Rut and the Road to Delhi

For the whole of last week, it seemed India's capital had shifted some 500 miles south east to the holy town of Varanasi. Nestled on the banks of the river Ganga, Varanasi - known locally as Kashi or Banaras, has become more than a just a town linked to the spirituality it bestows upon its visitors; it has become larger than life; for on May 12 it will bear witness to the most decisive political battle in this year's Lok Sabha elections.

Lenity would force observers into believing that the fight for the Varanasi seat is a three horse race (Uttar Pradesh's ruling Samajwadi Party (SP) isn't even in the running). This is indeed music to the ears of his detractors, but they may have to concede that Bharatiya Janata Party's (BJP) PM-candidate Narendra Modi is the frontrunner to wrest the key constituency. Other claimants for Varanasi include the Aam Aadmi Party's (AAP) Arvind Kejriwal, whose short-lived stint as Chief Minister of Delhi was seen as utterly tumultuous and a betrayal of those who voted for him; and the Congress's lesser known candidate Ajay Rai, who built his chequered career as a BJP legislator before defecting to the former.

The 2014 election is touted to be 'the biggest' poll of its kind, not only because of the enormity of India's voting populace (estimated to be well over 800 million), but because come May 16, the world's largest democracy is likely to witness the proverbial and electoral decimation of the ruling Congress party.

The Congress, patronized and run by the Gandhi family for decades has had a vice-like grip on the nation's political and jugular vein. Modi, who's making his first foray into national politics, is widely expected to ride the eponymous wave of fervor and anti-incumbency and form India's next government.

Holding the Congress's last stand is the family’s diffident heir Rahul Gandhi, who has failed to sway the tide in his party's favor. When all hope was lost, he even went about influencing voters in poll booths during polling in his constituency Amethi, but was let off scot free by the Election Commission of India
(EC) even after several complaints were lodged in his name.

The EC's credibility as a neutral poll body came under fire when it rejected BJP's application for Modi to hold a rally in Varanasi's Benia Bagh, but granted his opponents including Kejriwal, Gandhi and Uttar Pradesh's Chief Minister Akhilesh Yadav permission to campaign at the same venue.

Making the most of what he could, Modi instead led a gargantuan roadshow from the Kashi's prestigious Banaras Hindu University (BHU) to the party's headquarters in the city. The three mile stretch took more than four hours to cover, as hordes of supporters and townsfolk thronged the streets to catch a rare glimpse of a man who could very well be India's next Prime Minister. Beyond doubt, Modi's procession made a greater impact than a rally ever would have. Such was its success that it forced his political rivals to stage roadshows of their own.

"If Modi comes, can Kejriwal be far behind?" asks one observer, who witnessed all the other Modi-induced rallies. Kejriwal indeed wasn't far behind. A day after Modi came and conquered Kashi, "Kejriwal was met with many supporters, but this didn't seem quite different to his protest rallies and his dharna," he adds. Only a few months ago, Kejriwal graduated from full time agitator to bit-part politician to unsettled administrator. His party has come of age a little too quickly, but it seems it hasn't quite shaken off its cantankerous side.

Only days earlier, Modi addressed a massive rally in the Gandhi’s bastion Amethi, which came as an alarm to the first family. It didn't come as much of a surprise when Gandhi returned Modi's favor, showing up with his own motorcade in Varanasi in a relatively meek show of strength. Much to the former’s dismay, not only was his Kashi rally dwarfed by Modi's, he had to deal with a rival procession a few miles away from his own – Akhilesh Yadav's. Yadav's rally had no real purpose behind it, except perhaps, to avoid a loss of face in the state he has sloppily ruled.

As has become quite fashionable this election, all three men went all guns blazing on Modi. What they didn't realize however is that, in an attempt to emulate Modi and throw dirt on him, they have actually played into his hands. Not only is Modi expected to win a majority of the Hindu vote (Hindus comprise 85% of Varanasi's population); the close contest between the other parties will ensure that the minority vote is split between the three. Modi couldn’t ask for more.

In all honesty, the Varanasi roadshow rut was unnecessary yet exuberant. For once, it did illuminate the 'City of Lights'; probably like never before, or after.

Kejriwal's open threat to press freedom may be his undoing

A few weeks back the internet was flooded with articles about how the pulping of Wendy Doniger's book The Hindus was a threat to freedom of expression in India.

Most of these pieces, written by writers who claimed to be of a 'secular' disposition squarely blamed this ‘atmosphere of fear’ on the religious right, whose emergence they forewarned would stifle free speech. 

In one way or another, they presaged that a right leaning government would curb dissent to the fullest extent possible.

What is interesting to note is that these very same ‘secularists' have been sympathetic to Arvind Kejriwal and the Aam Aadmi Party since its inception. That the rise of Kejriwal and the AAP is the handiwork of the mainstream media is perhaps, a foregone conclusion.

Now, almost like an auctioneer, the former Chief Minister of Delhi claims that the media - that facilitated his rise - is in fact "sold". 

If this wasn't enough, in a comment reminiscent of the Emergency-era, he opines that "heavy amounts have been paid" to TV channels "to promote Modi".

So are we to assume that Kejriwal, who was recently exposed in a video fixing an interview broadcast with Aaj Tak's Punya Prasun Bajpai, has paid 'heavy amounts' to the channel to promote him. 

More appalling yet, was his statement that if the AAP ever comes to power, "media-wallahs" could actually be put behind bars. Isn't this what stifling of freedom of expression is? No government in India, save for Indira Gandhi's tyrannous regime, has threatened to put journalists behind bars for doing their job.

When asked whether he had made these comments, Kejriwal simply couldn't admit he had done a 'Romney'.

To understand this issue better, there are a few questions that we need to answer.

Is Indian media biased - Sure. The very fact that he is surrounded by a coterie of former journalists who are 'senior' leaders in his party - Manish Sisodia and Shazia Ilmi (formerly Zee News), Ashutosh (formerly IBN 7) and Ashish Khaitan (ex-Tehelka) prove this point.

Is the media sold? Maybe, but we don't know for sure. 

Do media-wallahs deserve to be jailed for their bias? Well, Kejriwal says so. 

The real question is - Why does Kejriwal make such accusations only against the Gujarat Chief Minister, and not members the Congress-led UPA Government at the Centre?

Well, why does Kejriwal only make accusations and more accusations? Only he knows. What we do know is that he has mastered the art of 'hit and run' politics. No to क्रन्तिकारी!

It was only a matter of time before Kejriwal took his sophomoric jibes to the next level. 

Of recent, he has tried hard to throw dirt at the BJP and its Prime-Ministerial candidate Narendra Modi. Taking repeated potshots at the Gujarat Chief Minister using unfounded statistics is part of his feeble attempt to remain relevant.

Although it is hard for him to acknowledge, Kejriwal too, has been swept by the Modi wave.

It is perhaps the first time in India's history that an opposition party hopeful of forming the next Government has been targeted as though it already is in power.

Modi has had to brave a fair share of allegations for over a decade. Not once has he intimidated journalists or the media who have gone against his writ with incarceration.

Just as the Congress perceives itself to be the voice of 'secularism', Kejriwal sees himself as the custodian of 'righteousness'. And this is where he proves to be ahead of his political progenitors - Kejriwal simply cannot deal with criticism or dissent.

Kejriwal promises he has a plan for India, and he may well have one; but we are yet to see it in full. But he isn't a protester anymore; he is a politician.

Whether he is able handle criticism with care, only time will tell. What he cannot afford to do is threaten free speech and a free media. His tomfoolery may be his undoing.