Sushma's Swaraj: The Joke's on India

Not to be derisive, but after witnessing Wednesday's rambunctious Lok Sabha session, one mustn't point fingers at our political class; they are giving the Indian populace exactly what they want - pure, no-holds-barred entertainment. To watch two of the most experienced parliamentary debaters in Sushma Swaraj and Arun Jaitley convincingly best the Gandhi family made for one epic treat/burn, which would even make a certain Goswami chuckle.


The Congress party could certainly function better as a more constructive Opposition but even despite Rahul Gandhi's buffoonery (See expert without knowledge), I do believe they did ask the right questions and Sushma should've put the Lalitgate matter to bed once and for all instead of being so obscurantist. Her pugnacious yet plain assertion that she'd "done nothing wrong" simply didn't lend credence to her stand.

Ever since her appointment as MEA, she has reached out to and provided humanitarian aid to many an Indian in distress and could have posited the same theory in defence of her assistance to Lalit Modi. But voila, she handed it back to the Gandhis in a language that they best understand: Accuse the accuser; turn defence into attack.

The fact of the matter is, allegations cannot be countered with more allegations. Two wrongs don’t make a right. Their scams vs our scandals, their secularism vs our nationalism, their riots vs ours, their absconders vs ours. Maybe that’s what Sushma means by “Quid pro quo”.

Every party has skeletons in its closet; none more so than the Congress, and that's probably why the Grand Old Party has been relegated to double-digit Opposition benches after ten years of misrule. Let's not forget, it was under the UPA's tenure that Lalit Modi turned 'fugitive'. Wednesday's session should not have been about what Rahul's दादी, मम्मी and पापा have done; Indians don't need any reminding. But reviving the ghosts of Congress' past provided the only egress out of the Lalitgate conundrum for the ruling party.

It's a tried and tested way - of circumventing salvos from both the Opposition and the fourth estate, which has been perfected by the powers that were, and which has been one-upped by their saffron successors.

Surely, it buys time but does little to indemnify our embattled Foreign Minister. It is clear the BJP will not force Sushma to step down, but the Lalitgate albatross shall continue to hang around her neck.

In a few hours from now, her belligerent visage will adorn the front page of every major paper. Social media will like and share snippets of her speech to death; news channels will use the same to maximise their TRPs. In a few days from now, the noise will die down. In a few weeks, all the tomfoolery will be forgotten. For as they say - public memory is notoriously short.

The joke’s on India.

5 things Kejriwal needs to do for Delhi right away

Yes, it was a clean 'sweep'.
Yes, it is good for democracy.
Yes, they did a Modi on Modi.
Yes, it's all gone Pete Tong for the BJP in Delhi.
Yes, it is the the dawning of a new era in Delhi politics.

What next?

It is perhaps, a no brainer that the people of Delhi - and by extension - India, are impatient.

Which also means that post Valentine's Day, Kejriwal needs to hit the ground running - popularity contest winners aren't afforded honeymoon periods. Ask Modi.

The vote was as decisive as it was unforeseeable and necessary. Pop the champagne, but at your own peril, for the young voters of Delhi are as fretful as they come. They swing easily.

Here are 5 things Kejriwal needs to keep in mind: 

1. Respect the historic mandate: The people do not forgive twice

Making history is second nature to the mufflerman. But never in his wildest dreams would anyone have anticipated such a lopsided election result in favour of the AAP.

What it means is that Kejriwal has the opportunity of a lifetime. With an opposition small enough to fit inside a Tata Nano, the former taxman really has enough elbow room to turn Delhi into the world-class city it deserves to be. Stamp his imprint over the city-state with authority, and he may well be able to keep the 'big two' out of power for decades to come.

Anything less than that would be simply unacceptable. The people do not forgive twice.

2. Live up to the promise of new politics

The Aam Aadmi Party's Election Manifesto was quite the model vision document. Curated and developed based on the party's successful 'Delhi Dialogue(s)', the manifesto is replete with freebies and promises that the party may find hard to keep.

In my opinion, the six most immediate objectives of the new Delhi Government should be (as promised and in no particular order): Electricity bills halved, pollution control, right to water, women's safety and security, full statehood, and the much vaunted and awaited Jan Lokpal Bill.

Though not impossible, the Kejriwal sarkar would find it hard to deliver on these promises. Of course, this would require a great deal of political tact (with which he is blessed in abundance) and a wee bit of quid pro quo with the Centre.

3. Put an end to confrontational politics: Stop blaming, start fixing

For some, power corrupts. Others, it makes them wiser, almost statesmanlike. Ask Modi.

Kejriwal sarkar has all the makings of a stable government: the mandate, the mood and the mantra. The AAP government mustn't govern in a manner that evokes memories of its shambolic 49-day first stint in power.

The politics of accusations and confrontations must come to an end. Dharnas suit the protester and not the administrator Kejriwal. If anything at all, start fixing the very things you promised to change, and you will earn a place in the capital's storied history.

4. Institutions of democracy have to be respected

Democracy in India is alive, free and fair, only because of: yes, you guessed it: The Election Commission. To accuse the most impartial national body of bias is, how do I put it: "Aapko shobha nahi deta".

Only last year, weeks after Kejriwal resigned as Chief Minister, he lashed out at the media for being "sold" to Modi, by Modi, for Modi. He also claimed he would "put media-wallahs behind bars" for this. Whether he really meant what he said is anybody's guess.

But now that he's CM-designate (for the second time), we would expect Kejriwal to exercise caution before he opens his gab.

5. Govern first, spread base later 

The AAP's astonishing political comeback would have solidified the belief within the party that it is destined for greater things. While it is healthy to aim for the stars, the insemination must be put on hold.

Before spreading its honest tentacles elsewhere, the Harry Potters must use their brooms to rid Delhi of the filth it is mired in. AAP must deliver good governance in the capital, and make Delhi its bastion, before they look to break new ground (Punjab).

....

A word of advice to both Kejriwal and Modi: Stop dreaming about the next Lok Sabha election.

In 2019, Modi could still be the only mass leader with a nationwide appeal, which may buttress his candidacy for a consecutive stint as Prime Minister, a first for the BJP. But resting on laurels may do his chances more harm than good. As we have learnt, peerless oratory and emphatic promises may win you an election, but a nation with a culture of restiveness entrenched in its DNA forgives no one. Ask the Congress.

As for Arvind, there's a long way to go before he's crowned Prime Minister. Going by the average of the incumbent and his predecessor, it'll roughly take you 13 years from the day of your first important assignment (CMship in his case) before you become Pradhan Mantri. Also, considering that he heads a party which hasn't yet gone national, it's wise to add 2-5 more years for good measure. So ideally, Kejriwal's best chance of becoming Prime Minister would be in 2019. Hold your horses till then, Mr. Muffler Man!

Dear Pradhan Mantriji

Dear Pradhan Mantriji,

As of this writing, Delhi has voted and an encouraging 67 percent turnout has been recorded.

Regardless of what the final tally will be, the Delhi vote is overwhelmingly in favour of the Aam Aadmi Party. Whether you like it or not, the brazenness of your acolytes and the reticence of your government has caused you to cede ground in the very city that hosted you with the adulation fit for a hero.

Exactly ten months ago, the scenario had been quite different. India had been fed up with an effete UPA government and in “Modi sarkar” we trusted. On voting day, we happily dyed our indexes with violet, but our hearts were doused in saffron.

The sarkar promised us “Sabka saath, Sabka vikas”, pro-people good governance and development that would catapult us to the league of extraordinary nations. And we thought we had a hero.

We applauded you for pitching India to the East and the West, but you seemed to forget the very constituency that authorized your all-expenses paid world tour. We voted for you because of your promise to translate your vision into palpable development. Never forget that the barometer of development moves its needle only when there is real delivery and less rhetoric.

Of course, development doesn’t appear out of thin air. It takes time. When you say we need to “Make in India”, I’m with you cent per cent. When you exhort Indians across the world to give back to their motherland by “manufacturing” development, I’m listening with intent.

But all I, and millions of young Indians wish to know is - "Manufacturing” communal polarization, is this a component of your developmental agenda?

So wait, are you saying that it'll take years before we see any tangible economic development, but your hard-line cohorts are ready to stir up a riot on demand?

Dear Pradhan Mantriji,
I do believe that you aren’t always in control of those who spew venom at will. But your visible inability to rein in these minions coupled with your deafening silence on the issue casts doubts in our minds and aspersions on your image.

In the run up to Lok Sabha 2014, you spoke about India’s need to harness the potential of its youth — the largest percentage for any country in the world.

Pradhan Mantriji, it seems, by acquiescing to your party’s cultural progenitors, you have absolutely underestimated the power of young India.

We have been to the moon and back, continue to grow leaps and bounds in the fields of science, technology, and expect to be the economy of the future (only second to China). So, how exactly do you expect India’s generations X & Y; who have grown up pledging to protect the saffron, white, green and blue, to subscribe to an archaic agenda?

We are a tolerant civilization, or at least we used to be. We are “tolerant” enough to turn a blind eye to rapes and sexual harassment, but cannot swallow bitter 'roasts' (especially if they’re aimed at someone else). We don’t mind being the second largest population in the world (soon to pip China to the top spot), and yet Valentine’s Day is now a day to fear express marriages, not to celebrate love.

To cut right down to it PMji, your lack of discernment for India’s youth may cost you dear. I’m afraid the Modi-Amitbhai juggernaut would come to a halt outside Delhi’s Vidhan Sabha. It's a wake up call you better pay heed to.

Irrespective of ancestry and religion, any and every Indian has a stake in this country. Vitiating the atmosphere time and time again never really helped anyone. Except, of course the party you lead and the one you have opposed for eons.

Your party’s successes in other states might have compelled you to use the same cadre-centric formula for Delhi; except, Delhi isn’t like any other state. Kiran Bedi might be a model citizen, but by anointing her as Chief-Ministerial-hopeful, Amitbhai has clearly pushed the panic button.

In Kejriwal, I see a man I disagree with on many fronts, but have come to admire on issues that matters most. Whether you love him or hate him you cannot debate that he truly has gauged the pulse of the capital.

While you dawdled on setting a time-frame for the poll, the muffler man deftly canvassed support from all quarters, castes, communities and sections of Delhi society. By the time you joined the party (a tad too late), and decided to go gung-ho, Kejriwal had already succeeded with own “ghar waapsi”, wooing the common man into the fold.

Politicians like the ones your party continually rewards, make mistakes and get away with them. Only a common man errs, owns up and apologizes for his shortcomings. And such a common man deserves respect, despite his 49-day debacle and relative administrative inexperience.

I’m not a Bhakt, but I still subscribe to your agenda of “vikas” for all of “Bharatvarsha”; I’m willing to snub all of your naysayers, if you come through on your promises.

But for Delhi, my Delhi, the heart says “ab ki baar Kejriwal”, and to him my vote (virtual) goes. It’s a gamble we’re willing to take.